Monday, January 20, 2014

Vivian Sunrise

Today I am honored to share with you a guest post by Ph.D. candidate and wargamer extraordianaire Aaron Cooke! Written in the last hours of freedom before the impending start of the semester, Aaron shares with us a go-to meal, the Vivian Sunrise.

If you have spent any time at perusing the articles on this web log then you have some familiarity with the style of one Lacy Cooke, specifically the style of her cooking. It is, in a few words, cute and delicious. I am here now to indicate to you that there is another culinary path, one traveled by yours truly when it falls to me to keep my spirit entrapped by allowing the cells in my body to consume adenosine triphosphate. That style can be described, in a few words, as not-cute and delicious.

The recipe I am sharing with you has a history stretching back eons, to when humanity finally got its act together and began taking eggs out of one animal and milk out of another, which was then either churned or inundated with bacteria. It is called a Vivian Sunrise.

You will need:

2.7182818284590452353602874713527 Eggs

A Bagel

A bit of Butter (1.61803398875 oz)

6 shakes of Hot Sauce

Cream cheese in the amount of 3.14159265359 drams

Some Sharp Cheddar Cheese (pounds sterling)

To begin:

Turn on some music. I have been preferring Random Access Memories by Daft Punk or Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel depending on whether I am feeling robotic or despondent respectively.

Put butter in a pan on medium low heat. Slow cooking is always the way to go.

Crack eggs into the pan. If you break the yolk at any point immediately shove the half cooked egg in your mouth, weeping tears of inferiority.

Cut bagel, put in toaster.

(I am all about timing everything just right, so adjust actions to match the speed of your appliances)

Flip egg.

Bagel pops out, add cream cheese and cheddar cheese.

Egg is done (white all cooked, yolk still runny), add on top of cheese.

Top to taste with hot sauce.

When you eat it, eat as much as you can without breaking the yolk. Then shove the remainder into your mouth. If food squirts down your chin, congratulations. You have achieved nirvana.

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